Socially Awkward Writer Seeks Agent / Publisher To Validate Life Choices
I believe I have all the characteristics needed to be a bestselling author:
I obsessively re-read rejection slips.
I don't sleep much.
I eavesdrop at parties and on buses.
I want to win The Booker Prize, but almost always loathe the winners.
I have a stationery fetish.
I collect 'How To' writing guides.
I politely stalk my favourite authors online.
I know the Underground quite well, because you're all based in London, right?
I have too many tattoos to get a 'proper' job.
In exchange for getting me a book deal, I can guarantee I will deliver prose peppered with obscenities, themes of sex and death (because that's what you like, right?), stupid jokes, and almost always a kitten. If you give me a nice advance, I can take you out for dinner. Do you like KFC? If you need bone marrow I have some I'm not using.
Contact: SK Harrison @ The Blanket Fort, This Flat Will Have A Bluee Circle Outside It One Day, Speculative Street, Manchester.
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